Overcoming Shame And Self-Loathing

Shame says you are a mistake, not that you made a mistake, it says you are a mistake. Shame is a form of condemnation whereby a person views themselves as less than.

Shame makes a person identify themselves with what the society says about them; if people say you are nothing then your identity becomes nothing, if people tell you that you will never make it then shame makes that your identity, if people say you are ugly then you take that as your identity, if you made a mistake in the past then you take the identity of the mistake, if people are always rejecting you then you tell yourself that you must be a reject. With shame, a person views themselves as wrong. That is what shame does.

It makes a person put themselves down and view others as better than them, it makes a person walk in life as if they are defeated; the person’s countenance is down. A person in shame has a wrong view of themselves. Their thinking is distorted, most of the time without their knowledge.

Shame can be paralyzing. It is a strong negative energy. It holds people back in life; people fail to achieve their highest potential. Shame makes a person allow abuse into their lives; such people tell themselves that they deserve the abuse, that they do not deserve anything better. People in shame find it difficult to look others in the eyes, they find it difficult to voice their opinion.

According to people in shame, others are better, others have better ideas, others are accepted while they think of themselves as rejects. Shame makes people live in seclusion, it makes it hard for people to seek help if needed. What will people say? What if they find out what we did? What if? That is the reasoning behind it. Shame tells a person that they are not worthy.

In the Bible, after Adam and Eve sinned, they fell into shame. They hid from the Lord.

He said, ‘I heard of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself. Genesis 3:10.

Shame makes people hide. Shame makes people put on a mask, a mask that deceives others. We can go through life hiding, with a mask on; a mask of perfectionism, a mask of pride and arrogance, a mask of anger, a mask of a plastic smile; people put on all sorts of masks. Yet, anything that is not dealt with lingers. This does not mean we go telling everyone what we may be struggling with, it means we go to God.

People tend to uncover, they become unjust judges, something they are told in confidence becomes a subject of gossip. Most people tend to condemn. We are to go to God first, and He will lead us to people that have goodwill towards us. Not everyone is our friend. Most people are there as long as things are good, the moment things start getting difficult, they disappear never to be seen again, except maybe when they want something. 

We are never to walk in shame; whether it is because of a job loss, whether it is because of a certain failure, whether it because others are talking about us, whether due to something we said or did not say, whether due to something we did or did not do; there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Shame comes from the enemy, it is his method of trying to cause defeat in people’s lives, it is his way of blocking us from achieving our full potential. We thank God, He is the God who covers.

We are to walk as victors in this life, because that is who we are, victors. The price for our sins was already paid 2000 years ago. When Jesus was put up on the cross, He became sin for us. He carried it all for us. And when He rose again, He defeated sin and death. We need to know who we are in Christ; we are children of God, adopted into sonship through Jesus Christ. We are to walk in victory; there is nothing to be ashamed of.

When we accept Christ, we die with Him. All our sins are seen no more. All the shame is taken away. Then we rise with Christ and walk in freedom.

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2.

We take shame at the cross of Jesus. They that are in Christ are a new creation, the old is gone. God covers us. God is love. Our identity is found and rooted only in God.

Blessings.

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