Dealing with betrayal and healing from the hurt

Betrayal is a strong word. We feel betrayed when people we trust go against us, when people go on to tell others something we told them in confidence, when people spread lies about us, when people do or say something that they know will hurt us; when people cheat, lie, and abuse us. It is defined as, “the breaking or violation of a presumptive contract, trust, or confidence that produces moral or psychological conflict.”

Betrayal, whether in words or actions goes against trust. It hurts both the one betraying and the one being betrayed. It may be unintentional, though most times it tends to be intentional. Either way, it still hurts.

Betrayal can be an act of revenge. When people are hurt, they may go out there and do or say things that are meant to hurt the other. It can be a means of ‘getting back’ at the other person.

Betrayal comes from a bitter, unforgiving heart.

When we are hurt, at times we may want to hurt those who hurt us if we are not careful. When a person does wrong, it hurts but we should never put ourselves in a position where we are trying to hurt them back. It is not worth it. We are to seek justice in the right manner. At the end of the day, people will give an account of their actions to God.

In the end, acts and words of betrayal go back to the same person doing or saying them.

In the Bible, Judas was one of the disciples of Jesus. He walked with Jesus the entire ministry. However, he fell prey to the enemy and sold out Jesus for money.

When Judas, who had betrayed Him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. ‘I have sinned,’ he said, ‘for i have betrayed innocent blood!’ ‘What is that to us?’ they replied. ‘That is your responsibility.’ Matthew 27:3-4.

The chief priests and the elders tricked Judas into betraying Jesus. He fell into their trap and did what they asked, thinking that it would bring him favor before their eyes. However, when they got what they wanted, they gave him thirty pieces of silver and dismissed him. They had no other use for him. This act of betrayal cost Judas his life.

We should be very careful when people push us to do wrong against others, and when people cheer us on to talk ill of others. When things go wrong, the same people will deny they were ever part of it. They run away and go on with life as if nothing ever happened. The bad we do comes back to us. We should take responsibility for our actions. We were not created to please people. We are to love people but are to please God only.

People will befriend us when everything is going well; when they want something from us. They may pressure us into doing or saying something and then use the same against us.

Samson got into a place where he trusted Delilah. She had been sent to obtain information from him about the source of his power. That led to his downfall.

When Delilah saw that he had told her all that was in his heart, she sent and called the lords of the Philistines, saying, ‘Come up once more, for he has told me all that is in his heart.’ Then the lords of the Philistines came up to her and brought the money in their hands. Judges 16:18.

Let us be careful about the people we surround ourselves with, and let us pray for discernment from God. Not everything is as it seems.

It is surprising the things people do for money. People will sell their own souls for money. People even betray family for money. People kill for money. May God help us. We have idolized material wealth and by doing so store our riches here on earth where moth and rust destroy them. We have become a man-eat-man society. We excel in bringing each other down. We come across betrayal left right and center; it pervades human interactions. It is everyone for themselves. Love is missing. Yet, we forget that love is an everlasting treasure.

Do not weary yourself to gain wealth, cease from your consideration of it. When you set your eyes on it, it is gone. For wealth certainly makes itself wings. Like an eagle that flies toward the heavens. Proverbs 23:4-5.

Any earthly thing we set our eyes on will one day pass away. The only thing that remains is love.

Betrayal is never worth it; it does harm and no good. It may make us feel good at the moment, but the consequences follow us. We do not repay evil with evil for in doing so, we poison ourselves.

Evil bears evil. A person hurting us is no justification for us betraying them in return. It is a downward spiral. It leads to hatred, rage, and bitterness. Betrayal can never make up for wrongs done against us. Getting back at people is not the way; Christ is the only way.

Christ bore it all on our behalf. When He died, He said, ‘It is finished’. On the third day, He rose from the dead. He defeated all forms of darkness. In Him, we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to them who are called according to His purpose. God turns things around for the better. The enemy has no power over us; he tries to attack us but we have the full armor of God to fight battles. In Christ we are free. What the enemy meant to use against us, God works it in our favor.

You have turned for me my mourning into dancing: You have loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness. Psalms 30:11.

When we are rooted in Christ, we fight battles in a different manner. We know where our Source of power is. God gives us wisdom on how to approach life. He helps us overcome. We do not react with our flesh; we fight spiritual battles using the Word of God, and God is with us every step of the way. People will rise against us, they will lie, they will hurt us, they will want to see us defeated. But we know the truth; we stand on Christ the solid rock. Jesus is our foundation. We are led by the Spirit of God, we die to the flesh. We know no weapon formed against us shall prevail.

In the end our trust is only in God. He never leaves us nor forsakes us. He never goes back on His Word.

Blessings.

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